My Wednesday with the Lord

Sometimes I enjoy a gloomy day off of work. When the sun is totally hidden behind those dark clouds.
Where I can just sit and read. Or maybe sleep in and wake up to instrumental music and my husband.
Or where I can just sit, read, and enjoy some coffee over beautiful revelations given to me by the Lord.
These days are my favorite days.

This morning I began with this awesome devotion... 
And I must share it because I know of some people who could definitely benefit from this
(& there are some I don't know that would too)!

"TRUST ME, and do not be afraid. I want you to view trials as exercises designed to develop your trust muscles. You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan's favorite weapons. When you start to feel afraid, affirm your trust in Me. Speak out loud, if circumstances permit. Resist the devil in my Name, and he will slink away from you. Refresh yourself in My holy Presence. Speak or sing praises to Me, and My Face will shine radiantly upon you." 

- 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young

So what an encouraging way to begin my morning, right?
And perhaps, prepare me for a day of trials... or encouragement for other's trials.
Thanks God. :)

Then I continue to be in the Word... which I love. 
And I was thrown into Romans. Hooooooooly crap!
After I read some Romans that went hand-in-hand with another book I am reading,
"The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee,
I hear all the great reminders of what His blood and crucifixion did for all.
What His blood did, was deal with our sins (for all).
What His death on the cross did, was deal with ourselves being sinners (for all).

But this wasn't what triggered my heart... or filled me up with so much joy today. It was this quote:

"What is the secret of reckoning? To put it in one word, it is revelation. We need revelation from God Himself. We need to have our eyes opened to the fact of our union with Christ, and that is something more than just knowing it as a doctrine..."

For years, I just knew what His blood did for me.
I knew that He died on the cross to take away (personally) my sins. I knew. I believed and still do. 
I had confidence in that. BUT this was just knowing it as doctrine, because my my life was torn in two.
But I just made this connection:
when I believed, the Spirit (in me) enabled me to know Him ( and know more through His Word).
God gave me "the spirit wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Eph. 1:17)." 

"...Most of us can remember the day when we saw clearly that Christ died for us, and we ought to be equally clear as the time when we saw that we died with Christ. It should not be hazy, but very definite, for it is with this as basis that we shall go on. It is not that I reckon myself to be dead, and therefore I will be dead. It is that, because I am dead- because I see now that God has done with me in Christ- therefore I reckon myself to be dead."

I was always so weary to explain my "testimony."
My thoughts are: not impactful + not dramatic + growing up in a Christian home= an awfully boring.
(This is so sad to think, but after today- I appreciate my testimony more.)

I can clearly remember the day that I realized that Christ died for me. It's quite funny actually.
I think I understood it for a while, but never wanted to "make the move."
I seemed like a VERY confident kid, but really- I wasn't. Very insecure, like most.
BUT this day, there was an incentive...my favorite, vanilla cake with vanilla frosting.
Under these circumstances, I could't deny that I knew. I was 8 years old and in the 3rd grade.
I remember in my prayer, recognizing what He did for me. (But that is as far as it went.)

BUT FOR YEARS, I struggled to really understand anything else. If you knew me as a kid, I loved ministry.
I began bible studies with my friends. I loved Awana's/youth group. I loved to read my bible, when I did.
I love summer camp. I loved to sing praises to God. I loved to serve. To fellowship about Him and encourage! 

But... all was for my own personal gain. Because I had to return the "favor."
I knew I was cleansed of my sins, but what I didn't know was that I don't have to work the sinner off?
I thought of it like, losing weight? You have to sweat it out and work hard before you can see the muscle you already have.
I didn't have to do all I did to see that I was in Christ.
I didn't understand what it meant to be "in Christ."
I didn't know of all the amazing things I was given when I first believed.
I didn't recognize the sinner working in me.

The memory of realizing of His blood and my sins, is just as clear as the day I realized that I died with Him.
I was in Michigan, at New Tribes Bible Institute. I believe it was my 3rd Semester. 
This semester was a life changer. So many things I didn't know and I was getting a bit overwhelmed.
The overwhelmed feeling was almost guilty because I felt being 19 years old, I SHOULD KNOW THIS.

But I was sitting in class, trying to understand it all. So I went back into my room and read my hw.
An article about the Vine and the Branch.
It explained about His blood but more of our death with Him on the Cross, and what it meant.
It meant I was in Him. Christ in me. HE DID IT, ALL! I could do nothing good apart from Him. 
And all good was Him. It meant dependency on Him. Believing and acting upon that.
I could stop working off my "old self/sinner" and I could see what I had in me already, Christ.
This is reckoning, "to regard as being, to count as true." (M.J. Stanford)

From this day, I truly remember the feeling of being filled with joy. 
Even though I FULLY didn't understand this, and I still am learning...
It's a peaceful place to be.
I am confident in what He did in my life.
My testimony of His work, beautiful.

With an 11 year stretch of not knowing the amazing life in Christ, 

my testimony is:

I do now. And I live weightlessly. Peacefully. And joyfully.

I still struggle and wrestle and sometimes put up a fight.

But I know and act upon what is true, I am in Him. He is victorious in Me.

My old self/sinner is dead and what is in me is clearer than ever, HE in ME!

Hmmmm, just a great morning in my little tree house of a home.
Join the Lord and myself this morning and get into His Word.
Let the Lord refuel you and encourage you has He reminds me and teaches you.
Happy writing today friends. :)


PS. If you decide to blog about what the Lord reminded you of today: would you share? Comment back so I can read what your morning, afternoon or evening was filled with!